Throughout the course of our lives, we constantly find changes, some unexpected and others planned. We observe changes such as a graduation from school and the passage towards university life or independent life, ceasing to live with our parents or primary caregivers to live with partners, friends, pets or living in solitude. We see changes in employment, work within a work area or in terms of the activities we carry out at the work level, for example if we were employees and want to start our own business. We sometimes see city changes and what can entail leaving family and friends behind or rather a change in the ways of interacting with them. Sometimes we look at these changes externally, but we forget the changes that occur internally. Maybe you do not like the same things anymore or you do not enjoy the same jokes that your partner makes, maybe your life purpose has changed or you have finally found it. What you thought yesterday will not necessarily be the same as you think tomorrow and you will probably discover that with the passing of time your styles change in the same way because you not only change externally but also internally. In short, our lives are plagued by changes from the simplest and most inconspicuous to the most obvious. Now the important thing is how we decide to learn to manage these changes since the impact that our physical, emotional and spiritual well-being will receive will depend on it.
Understanding the Transitions in Life
Life transitions are periods in which your life routine can be affected and in turn your sense of identity could be upset. Regardless of the positive or negative that these life transitions may bring, you can experience mixed emotions that will need to be recognised and managed.
Through the transition process you can experience and observe the involvement of different points such as leaving behind things that you knew or used to do in your life. Sometimes that “leave behind” can bring with it emotions of loss and sadness. For example, you decided to live with a couple and you discover that there are certain activities that you did in your singleness that you can no longer do in the same way, you moved and that implies that you no longer often see your family, you changed jobs and you find yourself learning new tasks. You retired from your job and at the moment you discover that you have a lot of free time and you don’t know what to do with it or you felt that it was your job that defined you and now you feel that you have lost your sense of identity. Your coaching companion could ask you:
- Who can provide support during this transition process? Who can you look to that does not criticise you, point out or judge you and is of good positive vibes for you during this process
- What do you need to leave behind to succeed in this new stage of your life?
- What are the opportunities you observe in this transition process?
Within the transition process you can also find yourself learning to manage that new stage in your life, discovering how it works and what it brings with it. Sometimes that change between one stage of life, and another can bring with it the experience of emotions of confusion and anxiety before the adjustment process that this entails. An example of this may be that you have decided to leave your job to establish your own business, but you are in the middle of the creation of that business, but your business is in the initial stages and is not fully established. You are in the process of adjusting and learning, discovering and implementing. Perhaps you have decided to move to a new city and to the the process of job search you add learning to adapt to a new environment, trying to connect with new people and ways of life, but without yet feeling part of that environment.
Your coaching companion could ask you:
- What ideas do you have about this new stage?
- What habits or routines could you establish in this new stage that can help you promote wellbeing
- What are your qualities or strengths that will help you in this new stage?
- What skills do you need to develop?
Within the transition process you can observe that little by little you begin to welcome things by looking at them from another more bearable perspective. Your energy and optimism are renewed. It may be that you have finally laid the foundations for your business to start working efficiently and you begin to feel more confident. Maybe you have already started meeting new people in that city to which you moved so you establish new connections and routines, you become familiar with the places and forms of interactions which implies that you begin to feel more in your environment.
Your coaching companion could ask you:
- What have you learned from this transition process that can help you move forward?
- How can you promote that this new beginning aligns with your value system or your long-term goals?
Some Strategies to Consider in Life Transitions:
Recognise the Change
Denying it or resisting can make the process more complicated. On the other hand, accepting it allows you to move forward.
Give us the Permission to Feel
When we give ourselves permission to feel we are listening to ourselves. We listen to ourselves and letting it be known that we and our feelings are important. We validate ourselves.
Maintain the Routine
When we look for ways to maintain a routine that is recognised by us and complements us, we preserve a sense of identity and anchoring. Exercising, meditating, reading a book or watching our favourite series can be ways to maintain a routine that complements us within the transition of life.
Seek Support
Seeking dialogue with someone who does not criticise, point out or judge us allows us to vent and at the same time listen to other perspectives if we wish.
Focussing on What is in Our Control
Focussing on the little things that are under our control such as maintaining and/or developing a new daily routine allows us to develop that sense of stability.
See the positive
What positive aspect allows me or decides to see within this transition process?
Be Patient
The processes of life transitions involve a process of adjustment and like any process it takes time. It is important to be patient with yourself and remember that it takes time to adapt to new routines or learn new styles. We need to become our best friend.
Positive Visualisations
Making visualisations of what we want to happen as if we were living it can be an alternative since we could turn it into a manifestation.
Although life transitions are a normal part of our existence, sometimes they are still challenging. That is why it is important to consider seeking support and/or help to make this process more bearable. Keep up well and take good care of yourself!
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